Stop Fighting Yourself
—What's Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy?
As a therapist, I often hear people describe their struggles with speaking up in the workplace, ending difficult relationships, and dealing with irrational thoughts. These are common struggles that many of us face, and they can be exhausting.
One approach that I have found helpful in working with these issues is Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. IFS is an evidence-based therapy that views the mind as a puzzle with many different parts, each with its own perspective and wisdom. When these parts are in conflict, we can feel anxiety, depression, and other negative symptoms.
IFS therapy aims to promote harmony and connection between these parts, so that they can come to a decision that benefits the whole. It also recognizes the existence of a true self or spiritual center, known as the Self, which is capable of leading, understanding, and healing the parts.
How does IFS therapy work?
As an IFS therapist, my goal is to help clients disentangle themselves from their battling parts and connect with their Self. When this connection is strong, clients can stay present and calm with their parts, understand and heal them, and eventually let go of unhelpful thoughts and behaviors.
One example of how IFS therapy has helped a client is a woman named Sarah who struggled with speaking up for herself at work and in relationships. (Disclaimer: The names and details have been changed in order to protect the confidentiality of my clients. )
Through our IFS therapy, Sarah was able to identify a "critical" part of herself that constantly put her down and made her doubt her abilities. By connecting with her Self and building a relationship with this part, Sarah was able to get a deep understanding of this part, where it comes from, and who is part trying to protect. As the critical part building more relationship with Sarah’s Self, and trusting Sarah’s Self energy, the critical part relaxed more and more often. As a result, Sarah was able to speak up more in her life, and negotiate for healthy boundaries in her relationships.
One more example of how IFS therapy can be helpful is in dealing with “irrational” thoughts.
For example, my other client John struggled with anxiety and often had intrusive thoughts that he was a failure and would never be successful. (Disclaimer: The names and details have been changed in order to protect the confidentiality of my clients. )
Through IFS therapy, John was able to identify the "fearful" part of himself that was generating these thoughts. By connecting with his Self and building a relationship with this part, John was able to understand the underlying fears and concerns that were driving these thoughts. This allowed him to let go of the beliefs from past experiences and feel more confident and secure in himself. As a result, he was able to move forward in his career and achieve his goals.
IFS therapy can be a powerful tool for self-exploration and psychological healing. As a therapist, I am here to guide and support you on this journey.
How does IFS treat Mental health diagnoses?
When working with mental health diagnoses, as an IFS therapist, I aim to understand the underlying parts involved and how they interact with each other. Instead of pathologizing or suppressing these parts, I seek to develop a compassionate and non-judgmental relationship with them, as well as help the client develop a sense of curiosity and openness towards their parts.
“No bad parts. Only good parts stuck in bad roles.”
IFS does not view symptoms as problems to be eliminated but rather as expressions of underlying parts that are trying to protect or cope with challenging experiences. By understanding and building a relationship with these parts, IFS aims to facilitate healing and integration within the internal system, allowing individuals to access their Self and restore balance and harmony.
Overall, IFS therapy is a unique and effective approach to psychological healing that can benefit people of all ages and backgrounds. If you are interested in learning more, please don't hesitate to reach out to a qualified IFS therapist.
Learn more about Internal Family Systems Model at the Center for Self Leadership.
Disclaimer: Please note that the stories shared in this blog are fictional and do not reflect the experiences of any real individuals. Any similarities to real persons or events are purely coincidental. The names and details have been changed in order to protect the confidentiality of my clients.
Dora Dui Chen, LCSW
Dora is a Certified Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapist who specializes in treating complex trauma, attachment trauma, and relationship stress. She provides holistic therapy services to individuals in California, as well as clinical consultation, training, and workshops to professionals.
With a focus on cross-cultural and minority experiences, Dora is dedicated to supporting individuals and professionals in their journey towards emotional well-being and growth.
For more information, please visit her website.