"It's the most wonderful time of the year."
Unfortunately, the holiday season can also be the most stressful time of the year. Too many activities, even if they are fun activities, can culminate in too much holiday stress and leave you feeling frazzled, rather than fulfilled.
A poll by the American Psychological Association shows that 8 out of 10 people anticipate increased stress over the holidays. In some cases, the increase in stress and anxiety may even lead to depression, which is often referred to as the holiday blues.
During the holiday season, you are likely to spend more, socialize more, eat more, exercise less, and sleep less.
You may have to face the complicated family relationships sitting at the holiday dinner table.
You may get worried about the money and time drained in the holiday gifts.
You may feel pressured because you want the people you love, and yourself, to have a fantastic time.
Invitations to holiday parties and dinners increase your social anxiety.
If you are grieving, even if the death or loss you've experienced is not recent, this time of the year can bring up so many complicated memories and feelings.
No one is immune from the holiday stress. While stress itself is necessary for our survival and zest for life, too much stress hurts our health, both mental and physical. If you take some time to cope with the stress, you will be able to embrace more positive aspects of the season.
An important question to ask yourself is: what do I need in the holiday season?
Know Your Limit.
When you have too much on your plate, the holiday season is doomed to be stressful. You don't necessarily have to cancel your plans, but make sure you're not setting unrealistic expectations for yourself.
For example, if preparing an entire meal alone is too much for you, you can ask every guest to bring a dish. Everything doesn't have to be perfect, and you don't have to do everything yourself.
Tune into Your Feelings.
Don't force yourself to put up a happy face to the world. Your emotions usually point towards important truths about yourselves. They carry the deepest desires, hopes, needs, and goals from the bottom of your heart. If you don't know what you're feeling and why, you risk leaving crucial needs and longings unmet, potentially perpetuating a cycle of anger or unhappiness.
For example, when you notice a change in the mood, take a few seconds to stay with the emerging emotion, and try to name it. Are you feeling angry, happy, sad, or fearful?
Schedule "Me Time" into Your Day.
It is essential to make time for yourself in the hectic days, so you can catch a breath and clear your mind. Even spending as little as 10 minutes alone might make a world of difference. Use the time to do activities you genuinely enjoy. For example, listening to relaxing music when you're in the shower. Or meditating for 10 mins when you're still in bed hitting the snooze button. You can make the time!
Pick Your Battles.
Being in close quarters with some of your family members for long periods can be stressful in itself. Due to your differences, there may be gaps in communication and understanding. Take some time to reflect on the past years, and try to pinpoint how much togetherness you and your family can take before feeling stressed. So this year, can you limit your time with family to a reasonable timeframe that will still feel special and joyous, without draining you?
May you be free from inner and outer harm and danger.
May you be safe and protected.
May you be peaceful with whatever is happening.
May you be healthy and strong.
May you care for yourself in this ever-changing world graciously, joyously.
With Love,
Dora
Dora Dui Chen, LCSW, Anxiety & Trauma Therapist
Dora is a bilingual/bi-cultural (Mandarin Chinese) psychotherapist offering therapy services to individuals and families in California. She specializes in supporting clients manage life stress and worry, heal emotional wounds, and find their true selves. Learn more about Dora’s services here.